Monday, November 10, 2008

November

This month I try to accept the loss of my beloved first-born son, Donnavon Shane Shanigan. As a mother and parent, I expected to precede him in death. The alternate scenario seems to break one of the most basic laws of nature. Just as I nurtured and guided him through infancy and youth, I expected him to be there to help and guide me through old age and dotage. His untimely death is difficult to comprehend, much less accept.

This cherished photo is Donnavon's first Thanksgiving. He was about 9 months old. My mother taught me that family gathers around a table of food on birthdays, holidays and other special occasions to celebrate the joy of the event. In this case, Donnavon was just beginning to eat solid food--you can see his high-chair tray litered with black olives and small bits of turkey. As a joke, his daddy handed him the entire turkey leg; Donnavon promptly stuck it in his mouth. The whole family laughed and someone grabbed a camera to record the comical scene.

I will miss Donnavon's insistence that I must bake pecan pie, as well as pumpkin. Last year he actually baked the pecan pie, a pecan chocolate version that he wanted to try. I will miss his dumping garlic powder on everything. I will miss his grumbling that last year's stuffing was better.

I miss Donnavon so much .... Here are some photos of Donnavon doing what he enjoyed most: http://donnavonshanigan.homestead.com/


14 comments:

Jacquie said...

Jeannette, that is such a loving tribute to your son. A priceless photo where he really seems to be enjoying the turkey leg whole-heartedly. Just plain cute.

Brenda said...

Being a parent I can not even imagine the loss you feel. I hope in doing this tribute to your son you have found some sort of peace. It is a priceless tribute to Donovan. Not only was a cute kid, he was a handsome man!

Robin said...

Donovan certainly did enjoy fishing... and was obviously very good at it! What a guy... one who could hunt bears and bake a pie!!! You will always miss him and always wish he were with you on Thanksgiving to chomp into yet another turkey leg. It's a very precious gift to all of us that you are working through your emotions and grief with your BJP pieces this year. Thank you and love to you, Robin A.

Marty S said...

Another beautiful and touching page.

Sending good thoughts,
Marty S
Crackpot Beader

Tracey N. said...

What a beautiful tribute to your son. What a tragedy. Life lost especially so young is unjustifyable. It breaks my heart. I am glad you find some measure of comfort in your beadwork. I hope you find peace.

a2susan said...

You chose a great picture of Donnovan enjoying his first Thanksgiving. I hope you still bake a pecan pie this year to remember him by.

KV said...

Well done, Jeanette -- the beautiful memories are the ones that keep us going.


Kathy V in NM

pam T said...

I hope you find solace in beading through your feelings and being able to share your memories with all of us... your pages are so very touching....

Carol said...

Jeannette
My heart breaks for you as I read your grief. Every little memory will help you heal. It takes a long time.

Peace and calm to you.

heidibeads said...

Thank you for sharing yourself and your feelings with us. I can only hope that they help you. I feel for you and send you healing love and light from across the country.

bonnieAK said...

Hi Jeanette. Nov. 10th was the first anniversary of my husband Ron's death. I took a week off work to deal with my emotions at home rather than at work. It does get easier...not better, but easier. I haven't beaded in almost a year and have finally been feeling some joy in my life again so I sat down at my bead table and worked on a project last night. Felt good!

eebeads.com said...

All your pieces are moving and beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with us. I wish you peace.

Betty said...

I also lost my son.He died from lung cancer at 34 years young. We have a funny story from the first Thanksgiving after he passed away. My kids fought over the drumstick and that year one of them fell off the platter onto the floor. My sister said, "Tony got his drumstick this year."
I know it is hard, but it will get better. I made my September piece in memory of my son and I hope you find comfort in yours.

GraceBeading said...

Another great piece and a moving tribute. I really enjoyed the photos of your son too. My thoughts go out to you this holiday season.